Lived a chunk of my life not asking for help - much like Paola I saw it as weak. Funny thing is, my self concept was already thinking “I am weak” so just LOVE that irony. I have now slid over into, sometimes, needing too much help: “Help me see no-self, PLEASE.” Again…a bit ironic to say the least 😉
Same here Dean. And honestly still do till today — we lost sense of the collective and community in this distinction of selves we created. Hopefully we remember and helping becomes no less difficult than breathing because it already is.
This is a great piece to start the new year, Carlo! I've been toying with writing something along these lines lately too. If I do, I will also link back to this piece. Thanks for the reminder, a parallel process in fact, as you just helped re-energize that urge in me! I may not have asked for it, but I will accept it ;). That's what community is all about.
I’m glad it inspired and energized you Dr. Sherry! We truly need community today more than ever. And let’s echo this message further so looking forward to your article — as a friendly nudge 😊🙌
So much to unpack and reflect on here! Asking for help has always been so hard for me, especially growing up in a home and a society that praised self-reliance and encouraged helping others instead of asking for help. The message I internalized was basically: needing help = weak or pitiable. That conditioning runs deep. I’m actively unlearning so many of those patterns I inherited from my caregivers, culture, and society and trying to reframe what it actually means to reach out and receive support. It’s uncomfortable, vulnerable, and honestly kind of a muscle I’m still building, but it feels worth it!!
Lived a chunk of my life not asking for help - much like Paola I saw it as weak. Funny thing is, my self concept was already thinking “I am weak” so just LOVE that irony. I have now slid over into, sometimes, needing too much help: “Help me see no-self, PLEASE.” Again…a bit ironic to say the least 😉
Same here Dean. And honestly still do till today — we lost sense of the collective and community in this distinction of selves we created. Hopefully we remember and helping becomes no less difficult than breathing because it already is.
Help is on the way!
This is a great piece to start the new year, Carlo! I've been toying with writing something along these lines lately too. If I do, I will also link back to this piece. Thanks for the reminder, a parallel process in fact, as you just helped re-energize that urge in me! I may not have asked for it, but I will accept it ;). That's what community is all about.
I’m glad it inspired and energized you Dr. Sherry! We truly need community today more than ever. And let’s echo this message further so looking forward to your article — as a friendly nudge 😊🙌
So much to unpack and reflect on here! Asking for help has always been so hard for me, especially growing up in a home and a society that praised self-reliance and encouraged helping others instead of asking for help. The message I internalized was basically: needing help = weak or pitiable. That conditioning runs deep. I’m actively unlearning so many of those patterns I inherited from my caregivers, culture, and society and trying to reframe what it actually means to reach out and receive support. It’s uncomfortable, vulnerable, and honestly kind of a muscle I’m still building, but it feels worth it!!
Thank you for sharing Paola — one of the first steps is to simply recognize and not take it for granted. That’s already a big step 🙌🙌